Will Edwinson

Author & Storyteller

My Battle With Old Henry The Computer

Man shouting

Photo courtesy of imagerymajestic/Freedigitalphotos.net

Those who know me intimately, know that computers and I have a tenuous relationship at best. A few years ago there was an ongoing series of battles between my computer and me; the result being, I was constantly shouting at the stubborn beast. I later learned that I may have been a wee bit too hard on the old boy, and maybe I owed old Henry an apology.   Henry is the moniker I had affectionately given to my computer—or maybe not so affectionately, since he was a constant source of frustration for me.

As quite often what happens with age, Henry developed a severe case of dementia; couldn’t seem to remember much of anything I told him to do(computer Alzheimer’s, I supposed). It got so bad I decided it was time to call in the computer doctor.  So that’s what I did. Diagnosis revealed that Henry’s problems had been developing over quite a long period of time.

One of the problems was his not so uncommon (for computers) allergy to household dust.  The doctor said computers are regular dust magnets, and even if you put them in an almost sterile dust free environment, they will still attract dust to themselves that will eventually cause allergy problems.  This is a good reason for subjecting them to a yearly physical checkup, and if necessary, do a body cleanse.

These allergies manifest themselves in many ways.  The dust collects on the fans diminishing their cooling abilities, and it collects on other components causing them to lose their ability to throw off other major ailments.  So, this being the case, minor surgery was performed to remove the dust from Henry’s components, and in addition, a fan transplant was necessary to improve his breathing and cooling capacity.

But that wasn’t the end of it.  Henry had other maladies besides dust allergy.  As mentioned earlier, he also suffered from inadequate memory.  It seems I had been loading the poor old guy up with too much information and expecting him to commit it all to memory, for which he just didn’t have the capacity.

More surgery was in order.  The good doctor transplanted a few more memory enhancement banks into Henry’s cranium.  Further tests and examinations revealed, also, that Henry didn’t have the intelligence for what I was expecting of him.  He needed more brainpower.  I asked the doctor,  “How do we solve that problem?” He said brain surgery was in order, he’d have to do a brain transplant inserting a larger brain (hard drive).  So that’s what he did.

Having done all that, I asked him to check Henry’s immune system to see if his flu shot (virus protection) was up to date.  He checked, and suggested a booster shot might be in order since viruses of a more sophisticated strain had come on the scene since Henry’s last shot.  He said there were several clinics offering free virus vaccines, and suggested one of those.  I said okay let’s go for it.  So again, that’s what we did. (Gee, I’m beginning to sound like Forrest Gump, with all those “so that’s what we dids.”)

Well folks, with the removal of the dust allergies, a brain transplant with more intelligence, the addition of enhanced memory capacity, and an updated flu (virus) shot; it was my hope that poor old Henry would be good for a few more years of faithful service, and maybe he would cease to be so stubborn and I wouldn’t have to yell at him so much.  Turns out, that was only a dream.  Such a scenario was not to be..  Stay tuned for the next installment in a few days.

Corbett-paperbackIn the meantime, I’d like to tell you a bit about my new novel that’s to be released later this Fall.  It’s entitled LouIsa—Iron Dove of The Frontier.  Hers is a story of   numerous trials and joys.

At age twenty-one LouIsa is wise beyond her years. She is a well-educated genteel woman of quiet strength.  She can don her chaps and spurs and wrangle dogies with the best of cowboys.  Then come in, put on her fanciest party gown, and be right at ease with Vassar graduates.

LouIsa is also tough as nails. She is a crack shot, and men soon learn, “Don’t mess with LouIsa.  She is a trained classical pianist who introduces classical music to some of the roughest saloons on the Western prairie, and her winning personality causes the cowpokes to actually enjoy it.  I think you’ll find her to be a very interesting and likable lady.

The story is  loosely based on a few years in the life of Louisa Houston Earp.  She was married in real life to Morgan Earp for a few short years until he was murdered in Tombstone, Arizona, on March 18,1882, while playing a game of billiards.

You cam click on the “Books” page, or the “In The Works” page and read a few excerpts.  Enjoy.

—Will

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